With a really funny trailer and a solid cast, you would be forgiven for thinking that Coffee & Kareem was going to be a great comedy. Sadly it isn't. The funniest bits are in the trailer and the rest is just meh. Actually it's worse than meh. It's just plain stupid.
Officer Coffee (Ed Helm) is one of those idiot cops who can't even figure out how a taser works. Following a massive drug bust, he gets tasked with transporting a prisoner, Orlando Johnson, to jail. But, of course, he is so incompetent that he lets the guy escape. He is also dating Vanessa (Taraji P. Henson), a single working mum with a 12-year-old son, Kareem. Once Kareem discovers that his mum is dating he decides to find Johnson and ask him to rough Coffee up so he'll stop dating his mother.
The problem is that Kareem walks in on Johnson and his cronies torturing a police officer about a drug raid. With Kareem recording everything on his phone, he witnesses a murder and must go on the run with only Officer Coffee for protection. You can already see how badly wrong the whole situation is going to go. They, along with Vanessa, must now outwit the gang and take down a corrupt police officer before a major drug buy takes place. And that is the entire plot of the movie.
Honestly, I turned it off after 40 minutes but realising I had to actually write a review about it, I had to go back and finish it. Unfortunately, that's another 40 minutes of my life I'm not getting back.
Coffee & Kareem is an attempt at a crime caper but done in the most awful way possible. For example, when you watch a movie like Spenser Confidential, you know what you are getting. Sure, it's a bit over the top but it's done with great action scenes and a sharp script. However, with Coffee & Kareem you get a terrible script, a one-note foul-mouthed little kid and a generally unlikeable set of characters. I have no idea who thought this was funny enough to make or why Taraji P. Henson said yes to it!