Squared Love

Squared Love

Film Netflix
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6.8

Fair

1

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Squared Love follows primary school teacher Monika who is leading a double life as a model but her two worlds clash when she meets Enzo and has to work with him and teach his niece. Polish romcom that passes the time but is pretty forgettable.

Hot on the heels of Polish hit movie 365 Days, comes the less steamy and more romantic comedy Squared Love. The premise is simple. Monika is a sort of dowdy primary school teacher. Think baggy shirts, hair tied back, oversized glasses, no make-up – you get the idea. But it turns out there's more to her than that and she's actually leading a double life – as a model! Oh yes. Classic Clark Kent/Superman switcheroo going on here.

With a quick change, the donning of a curly wig, blue contacts and a swipe of the lippy she's the very glamourous Klaudia (Adrianna Chlebicka). And despite the fact that her giant swimsuit billboards cover half the city, nobody seems to recognise her. She does it because she needs the money. Her father is in debt and she wants to pay off the loan shark so a secret model career is required to earn the big bucks.

Then there is Enzo. He is the Polish equivalent to somebody off Top Gear – a famous petrol head who loves fast cars and living the high life. His real name is actually Stefan but he's too cool for that (eye roll). Anyway, a tv advert featuring an expensive car, and of course Enzo, is in the works and Monika/Klaudia is hired as his love interest. The two do not hit it off largely because she isn't shallow enough to fall for his charm.

But wait….there's a catch. Enzo/Stefan (Mateusz Banasiuk) has been booted out by his girlfriend (even though they have an open relationship) and moves in with his brother and niece. There's some convoluted story about the brother's wife leaving to go find herself blah blah blah. So to help out, Enzo looks after his niece who just so happens to be in the class taught by….drum roll please…Monika!! I know! What an unexpected turn of events. And still, he doesn't notice that Monika and Klaudia are the same person. And if things couldn't get any crazier he starts to fall for BOTH of them.

And despite how implausible and frankly idiotic that storyline sounds, and it is, there is still something watchable about Squared Love. It's sweet in an epically cheesy way. Not outstanding by any means and honestly, it's as superficial and shallow as it sounds. But somehow it was still nice. Was it entertaining for an hour and a half? Sure. Will I remember it? Probably not.

Good

  • Entertaining Enough
  • Some Funny Parts
  • Acting Wasn't Terrible

Bad

  • Shallow As A Puddle
  • Terrible Plot
  • Fondue Level Cheesiness
6.8

Fair

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